Tuesday, November 17, 2015

An update...of sorts

College is exhausting. It's challenging and exciting and new and strange and fun and tiring...but mostly it is so good.

I look back at where I was three months ago, three weeks ago, even three days ago, and I see how beautifully God works. He took a heart of defiance and anger and stubbornness and is making it a heart of trust and peace and love and mercy and joy. OF COURSE there are days when I'm overwhelmed--I get snippy and moan and anxiously pace up and down the hallway, but then I'm reminded of God's perfect peace, and I feel okay.

He keeps pouring blessing after blessing out on me.

He has gifted me with women of faith who make me laugh until tears come pouring down my face, who cry with me when I'm having a bad day, who give me words of encouragement when I'm feeling like the walls are caving in, who love, who comfort, and who take care of me. I get to love on these beautiful young women! I get to know who they are, and who God created them to be! It's such an honor and a privilege. UGH. I'll be honest, I couldn't tell you the precise moment I met them, or what our first conversation was...sometimes I feel like God just plopped them down right in front of me. He's funny that way.

He has put me in an environment where I'm challenged academically and nourished spiritually. I continually see students strive to be His hands and feet, His messengers, His fishers of men. I am honored that I do life with these people! I am inspired by their relentless faith and unashamed worship and no-holds-barred passion for advancing the kingdom of Heaven.

College is exhausting. It makes me cry and laugh and question and seek and grow and learn and wonder and ask and discover who I am in God's big plan.

I most definitely do NOT have all of the answers. I don't even pretend to have all of the "things" figured out (if you know me then you know that KILLS me). BUT I'm learning that God will use me right where He wants to...right where He sets me down.

College is exhausting, and I am remarkably undeserving of His grace and mercy.