I came into college EXTREMELY skeptical. I didn't think that I was going to be happy. I didn't really think I'd last past first semester. My faith had been really shaken, and the excitement that I initially felt about the college experience had turned to fear, anxiety, and doubt. I was upset with myself because I knew that this was supposed to be a fun and joyful time and at God because I felt like He wasn't helping me the way I wanted.
The key words there are "...the way I wanted." God doesn't do things the way that I want. That would be ridiculous because I have zero idea what I'm doing. But honestly, I'm glad that God doesn't take into account the way that I'd like things to go.
There's a passage in Hosea 6 that I read recently, and I've sort of adopted it as my "college life verse." It says this:
"Come, let us repent to the LORD; for he has torn us, that he may heal us; he has struck us down, and he will bind us up. After two days he will revive us; on the third day he will raise us up, that we may live before him. Let us know; let us press on to know the LORD; his going out is as sure as the dawn; he will come to us as the showers, as the spring rains that water the earth."
God is continually tearing me down during my time here at Westmont College, but not in the negative, condemning way! He tears down my pride, my arrogance, my fear, my anxiety, and my worry so that He can shape me into the woman that I was called to be for His kingdom. In those moments of brokenness, He is ever faithful, He is ever sovereign, and He is forever good.
Often times, I forget that God is in control because well...I'm a control freak. BUT, I'm learning that when I give God the reins, when I totally relinquish every ounce of control that I so desperately cling to, God guides me and protects me and gives me moments to see His goodness, and all I can say is "Thank you, Jesus."
